A question for couples who cruise.

[magna 6882]

Hi

Were still studying for what boat and another question came up. My wife has concerns that if we get a pilot house then one person will be at the helm and the other in the salon making for a lonely experience. We are active motorhomers and when traveling we are both up front until we reach our destination.
For husband and wife teams where do you hang out when traveling. Does she have a point with the pilot house design? My thought would be that we would both either be in the pilot house or flybridge

 

[GregBrannon]

Whether running the boat from the pilothouse or the fly bridge, we're always in the same place with each taking occasional trips to the head, the galley for food, the engine room for checks, etc. Boating is more of a team effort than driving down the highway, and it's good to have another set of eyes and discussions of the conditions presented by others on the water and the environment and how to address them. That's one of the things that makes boating fun and interesting for us.

Greg.

 

[jimdavi]

We’re both in the pilot house while cruising.

 

[Greg S]

I think it would be just weird to not be there together. There could be times like when guests are aboard or a special task needs to be done that the navigator might be elsewhere.

 

[Pdxstriper]

Been on a lot of boats and can't recall one that did not provide for co-pilot/guest seating in either pilot house of fly bridge helms. Most will seat 3-4 others near the helm for exactly the same reason you mention - everyone wants to be where the action is.

 

[IRENE]

We operate the boat together as others have indicated. She can do everything I can do. One of us will leave the helm to make meals, do chores, or have a shower as needed, but we BOTH run the boat.

One thing we like about our current and past boats...the primary operating areas have equal seating. Wherever you sit, there is equal access to the electronics, good visibility outside, etc. We have no helm seat in the PH, it is a bench. The FB seats are literally split by the helm. One doesn’t feel left out or “second seat” by nature of the design.

So, try to find something with a design for two forward facing persons at the helm.

Good Luck

 

[ksanders]

For us it varies.

There is a very comfortable setee in the pilothouse. Sometimes the wife will hang out there, other times she might be in the salon reading a book or watching a movie.

 

[Russell Clifton]

Unless it is a very small pilot house there will always be seating for others. We can seat four people directly behind the helm and everyone will have good visibility.

 

[menzies]

When we got Sonas the FB only had the one helm seat, so the missus had to sit lower on the group seating. She couldn't see where we were going, dolphins, other boats etc. So we discussed adding a second seat with the yard. They came up with different options that were less expensive than a second STIDD. But it just wasn't going to look right, so we bought a second identical STIDD - $5,500 before install.

That is how valuable it is to be together!

New Helm Chair & Fort George August 2016 | AtAnchor.com

We prefer running from the FB, but when it is chilly we run from the PH, with plenty of seating on the convertible day bed.

 

[mvweebles]

On a related point, not sure what size/brand you are considering, but many benches in smaller PH boats are not very deep (front to back); and the seat backs are straight. They may not be comfortable if your cruising plans include longer passages. Mostly, boats are designed by men. When trying to cram a PH into a ~40 foot boat, deep seating seems to fall off the radar pretty quickly.

 

[ranger58sb]

We're both on the flybridge 99% of the time while underway.

And we tend to concentrate on different things, me mostly focused close in and on engine gauges and so forth, her mostly looking at nav-related info further out... and both of us watching out so as to not hit stuff (crab pots, debris, etc.).

-Chris

 

[Pack Mule]

When we rebuilt our pilot house we added a bench seat wide enough for two. With three storage cubbies and three drawers underneath. The only time it gets a little tight is when Joy is cooking inside. I just go outside or below then . We mostly grill out on the aft deck anyway.

 

[Leonard Atkins]

We have a smaller enclosed cabin than most but plenty of seating for both with equal views with drinks/food within easy reach from our seats. Both help with maintaining 360 degree awareness, navigating, piloting, checking the outboard and enjoying each other's company. On longer trips the ability to enjoy a break at the dinette or on the aft deck provides a nice change. Expect we would operate the same if we had a flybridge.


Leonard

 

[PPandE]

On our sport fisher we were both on the bridge until we had fish on. Then she took the helm and I went to get dinner.

 

[Shrew]

I've never seen a pilot house that only accommodates one person. While we don't have a pilot house, we operate mostly from the upper helm. The only reason one of use would be in the salon would be if one of us is grabbing food or a drink. The only other place would be in the head.

 

[Codger2]

One thing we like about our current and past boats...the primary operating areas have equal seating. Wherever you sit, there is equal access to the electronics, good visibility outside, etc........So, try to find something with a design for two forward facing persons at the helm.

Our flybridge set up.

 

[Tator]

We are fortunate to have decent size PH for a 40' boat. For us it all depends on what else we want/need to be doing. If it's my nap time, she's at the wheel and I'm below. Unlike our house where we split cooking and other domestic chores, Patti does all the cooking and meal prep on the boat and I pilot most of the time and do the docking and am at the wheel when anchoring and taking care of any mechanical checks and repairs. Although, when trolling for salmon we split the wheel/fishing time. When we have guests their time seems to be split between salon and PH or out on deck. The situation at hand dictates the answer. Patti does most of the anchor watch duties (unless it's really hairy out) as she does better at getting up in the middle of the night and being able to go back to sleep and because she has the outside berth as my need for visiting the head at night are non-existent and her's are not.

Tator

 

[w8n4sun]

On our previous boat, we both would be on watch while underway because we travelled at 18-22 kts and the threat of hitting debris is real in our cruising area.

On our current boat, wifey is only at or around the helm when I need to take a break or use the head. She is most happiest when cooking while underway, or cleaning, showering, napping, reading...anything but being at the helm.

This works well for us and we're both happy while underway AND when we arrive at our destination. It's actually pretty amazing how quickly those 8-10hr days go by and arrive at our anchorage still refreshed. Boating is fun!

 

[firehoser75]

For us, when boat shopping, a pilothouse became a must have. Many (most) of the open salon (same level) boats we looked at only had one seat looking forward at the inside station and alot of those only had a "folding chair" (not a permanent chair) at the helm. We did not like that setup. We wanted both of us to be able to "take an active part" when underway and I did not like the idea of a movable seat in rough weather.
We don't have a flybridge, but did see a few where again there was only one seat at the helm, with maybe a bench further back. If we had gone the flybridge route, we didn't like the "one seat" idea (one helm seat forward viewing).
On a Nordic Tug 37 the pilothouse is somewhat open to the salon so conversations and even visual contact can be maintained. Underway, unless going to the head, preparing lunch, or making coffee or tea, my wife and I are always in the pilot house together. Both maintain watch as here in the PNW (Wash., BC all the way to Alaska) we observe large amounts of foatsum, most of it logs that could cause damage, that we must try hard to avoid. Two sets of eyes paying close attention help greatly with that. On longer trips we spell off who takes the helm.
By the way, when docking, anchoring, or catching a buoy, my wife is always at the helm (except one time when she was having trouble getting us close enough to our friends boat to raft) and that time I did it. I would think there was more opportunity for "loneliness" when operating from the flybridge as the head, galley, and salon are much further away, and maybe your wife might find it cold (or some other condition that was not appealing at that time).
Our system works well for us, and my wife (who almost never docked our sailboat) has become very good at handling our boat. Even if your wife will not be the primary under these situations, I highly recommend getting her involved, and have her comfortable with boat operation and maneuvering.
However, if your wife enjoys "quiet" time and reading etc. she could sit in either the pilothouse or the salon. There would be a choice.
This is another example of "different strokes for different folks".
Enjoy the process of finding what works best for you.

 

[Ski in NC]

My lower helm shares space with the galley and a futon. We are almost always in the same area, alternating between helm duty and naps or eating or reading. She is not that comfortable running the boat in challenging conditions like being rough or narrow channels or in the dark. But for nice long offshore passages she enjoys being at the helm and sometimes I will go below for a proper nap. If she needs anything from me, she knows to change the engine power setting. That wakes me up quick!!

 

[Baker]

I think the biggest point in your post and something that you need to pat yourself on the back for is that you are considering such things and including both partners in the decision process of buying the right boat(for y'all). A unilateral decision on boat buying is not good for either party!!!

TO answer your question, we are like everyone else. We have flybridge helm only. She is generally up there with me and spells me at times when needed or she goes below if there is a need. She does a lot of her "housekeeping" while undereway.

 

[Moonfish]

In this 7-yr old video you'll see how our pilothouse is set up. Room for three people to get comfortable. As ours is on the same level as the main cabin/galley, it's not a "raised pilothouse" (which helps increase visibility and separation from the living areas), but we have a full bulkhead and door that completely closes off the helm area. So you can have a pilothouse on the same level, it's just not all that common.

https://youtu.be/EXcwqLyzYsk

 

[caltexflanc]

Our situation when cruising is much like Ski's. We pretty much split the piloting 50/50. On our old Hatteras, the lower helm had a double bench, and the upper had three helm chairs, and each had an autopilot on a long cabled remote, which was my preferred method of steering in all but congested or constrained conditions. It was always nice to have another set of eyes on watch in areas with various sorts of obstructions popping up.

On longer open water passages, we did a lot of time just have the skipper on watch, radar running, and our also boat had great 360 degree views from both helms. I did like taking a nice nap, we had a super comfortable couch right behind the helm in the salon. Typically I just like to look at the view, observe the water and wildelife, practice manual navigation, sit on the bench on the foredeck (favorite spot for Ann too in good conditions), do engine room checks, and generally monitor things. Most of the time the voyage was the destination in many ways.

I usually though not always was at the helm for docking, and Ann almost always was at the helm for anchoring exercises. I'd have Ann at the helm if a little more in the way of rodeo skills and agility were needed in a docking or close quarters situation.

Most of the "trawlers" we chartered had restricted views and just seating for one at the lower helm, though the Mainship 430 we rented a lot had a two person bench.

 

[amapola]

We are both in the pilot house while cruising. I'm the chief navigator and relief captain.

 

[PM]

Always on the flybridge together. (period)

pete

 

[Sailingveterinarian]

The first step into the saloon , while looking at an Alaskan 56, pretty much sold us on the boat. There’s was a straight through, unobstructed view, to the pilot house, and out the front window. We can always see each other, plus seats and table in the pilot house.
But...reality is that we are up on the flybridge almost all the time.

 

[Nickair]

Pilot house allows for together and allows separation when desired for various reasons such as, business calls, business work, computer work, etc. Pilot house is an office while underway. Also, Pilot House is used as a conversation area with another couple, or the guys. Like an enclosed fly bridge the pilot house can be used as another room when not underway.

 

[tadhana]

Our Helmsman 38 has a nice settee and table in the pilothouse. We are both in the pilothouse most of the time. we are underway. I usually take the night watch, but when we are underway all night Cristina rests on the settee while I drive. We find the pilothouse to be more comfortable in hot weather and cold weather. We run from the pilothouse most of the time.

 

[CaptGary]

Pilothouse is the most comfortable for both of us 80% of the time. On a nice day, we will head up to the Flybridge, but in the Pilothouse, she can be having her tea, or reading, or just looking out the windows. It is a very comfortable place for two while underway.

 

[HypnoBob]

Everybody's in the PH. Always plenty of room, even in the American Tug 34 footer. Situational awareness requirement keeps as many eyes on bobble heads in constant motion to be the safest.

Doors on both sides are a big deal should you need to single hand through the locks on the loop or use a the port side tie for anything.

We used a boat big enough (DeFever 49 CPMY), to have walk around decks, high side rails, and plenty of maneuverability (twins). A bow and stern thruster with a solid single, and in my opinion,you're good to go. We lived full-time onboard for three years looping and side tripping. Wow, what an adventure. Hope to get the second loop going in a year or two.

As they say, you'll be happiest (economically the happiest for sure) with the smallest boat you can comfortably live aboard for an extended period of time without getting cabin fever or a divorce. We'll go smaller next time around.