Al,
In my opinion, you need to first start with the question: "how do you plan to use the boat"? For example, just the two of you or lots of guests often, short trips on weekends or out for months at a time, long passages, or shorter distances, marina to marina or lots of time at anchor, etc, etc.
From that info, what are the must haves, the nice to haves, and just as importantly the DO NOT WANT features on a boat as you see them. EG. for me, do not want included flybridge, twin engines, screwed down teak decks, and lots of exterior woodwork. We all have our own reasons for these things. Others will have different opinions, and there really is no right or wrong, just what works for how you plan to use the boat and your own experiences so far.
It is unlikely that you will find a boat that meets all of your wants, nice to have, and don't wants, and you and your wife will probably have to compromise on some things, but the advice about "keeping the Admiral happy" is something to keep in mind.
For us, some good boats ("trawler like") were American Tug, Nordic Tug, Helmsman, etc. Our NT 37 could run at 7-8 knots and burn 2 gallons per hour and was a very comfortable boat for a couple with occasional guests. It was very seaworthy, well built, and easy to operate and maintain (relatively), but it is definitely not an "off shore" boat. It was very capable for short periods in the open ocean as long as you were careful with weather and sea state. For example, many of these boats travel from the Puget sound area to Alaska and back with no major problems, requiring periods of open ocean travelling. They are semi-displacement and are capable of up to about 14 knots if desired or needed. This allows for increasing speed when helpful in some sea conditions such as following seas on the quarter, allowing for some "smoothing of the ride" for comfort.
Anyway, good luck in your search, and with your budget, you should be able to find some decent boats.
