Aging gracefully with a boat?

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The motto of the Ulysses Motor Cycle Club is "Grow Old Disgracefully". It`s no quasi criminal gang,members are "mature aged" often wealthy owners of high end motorcycles.
 
Wife is 70 and I’m 79. We live aboard and have for the last 10 years. Sold the dirt home 2 weeks ago after renting it out for the last 10 years. We’ve decided to live aboard until we can’t. And yes, we pay others to do the difficult or unappealing work. We love the lifestyle and will do it as long as possible.
 
The correct boat can be made into a Last Boat if one desires that. The most difficult part about maintenance is finding competent help that actually shows up. The showing up part is a tough one. Those with $$$ can afford the well respected companies that do great work. Those places are not inexpensive.

We all know the three options when having jobs done: quick, correct or cheap. Pick any two.

For a person such as myself (three knee surgeries, plus broken bones here there) Seaweed is a Last Boat for me. I have two structural things to take care of before too many more years go by:

1. A tuna door (half sized) in the transom. Climbing over is not as safe today as it was a dozen-plus years ago.

and

2. I currently have a playpen in the forward cabin. My mattress is alongside the port bulkhead. Eventually I will give up some of the storage space to the right of the mattress so I can step up rather than crawl in. This is a small enough thing HOWEVER that athwartship bulkhead I believe is structural, so any cutting must be done correctly and reinforced properly. Ditto the tuna door...

Swallowing the anchor is a tough decision for many. As Daddy died aboard our 40'er, I do see a similar path for self. I was conceived, born and raised aboard so excluding the years as a wife and then caretaker for Mother (Alzheimer's) I cannot imagine anything worse than being ashore.

Each of us has to make the decision that best suits in the present day. What is perfect for you might well be my nightmare. And vice versa! Goals change. Sometimes physical problems cannot be abated. We all do the best we can, and in the end must live with our decisions.

All I want is continued happiness, for family to enjoy the same and for each and everyone to find contentment. May good fortune smile on all of you...
 
Finding competent help is becoming a common statement. This is due to the competent help aging out into retirement and not being replaced by the younger generation who prefer computer science.
Then there is the $120 an hour charge out for an employee getting paid $40 an hour.
 
I must say that switching from a 43-year-old wooden Grand Banks 42 to this lift-kept all fiberglass and SS 30-foot boat was a decision that only my wife regrets, she who never lifted a finger on boat maintenance. A big boat sitting in the water was just too much to worry over. For my big boat fix, I enjoy taking my friends' big boats on delivery for them. After 29 years ownership, I had done literally everything multiple times on that boat, but it was not always unenjoyable. I liked conquering the challenge of owning such a vessel on a Naval officer's pay as well as learn a few new skills. Fast forward a bunch of years, and one day we were plodding along one a trip coming home from Biloxi, and I just got tired of the slog. I wanted to go faster; I no longer really wanted to spend a lot of time living aboard (fixing stuff); and I definitely did not want to sit there thinking of all the maintenance issues waiting for me after putting the boat into the home slip. It was time to turn it over to somebody more willing to take up the cudgel and continue the battle. I may hang onto this boat for a good while yet, but I may just want to switch from diesel to outboard and go even faster. :)
 
Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
If you're young at heart.
For it's hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart.

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes.
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams.
And life gets more exciting with each passing day.
And love is either in your heart, or on it's way.

Don't you know that it's worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart.
For as rich as you are, it's much better by far
To be young at heart.

And if you should survive to 105,
Look at all you'll derive out of being alive!
And here is the best part, you have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart.
 
Wifey B: There is always the Sinatra version, which is beautiful, but here's my fave. Durante can't sing but he just fits the song.

 
His CD "As Time Goes By" is a keeper.

His version is certainly great, but gun to the head and forced to choose, I'll go with Frank on this one. But as you say, its a coin toss.
 
His CD "As Time Goes By" is a keeper.

His version is certainly great, but gun to the head and forced to choose, I'll go with Frank on this one. But as you say, its a coin toss.

Wifey B:

 
Wifey B: These songs are a tribute to so many of you who are much older than me, but still enjoying life to the fullest. :D

However, at the same time we must recognize even those young at heart much concede to physical changes and find new things for our young at heart selves to enjoy just as much as we did the old. :dance:
 
Used to ride dirt. After a few broken bones gave that up and got a KTM. Then after retirement got a 990 adventurer and rode street and double tract. Went through soft tail, bagger, and road glide but was uncomfortable as I aged further given I like iron butt stuff. So got a airbag Wing. Then found I was just walking by the KTM and wing time and again so sold both. Now don’t ride. Miss it but it was time. Can’t do whoops and can have each meal in a different state safely.
Same with the Outbound. Joy was international travel and open ocean off the shelf. Wife fell off the boat when she on the hard. Ankle broke in 3 places. She just isn’t safe on the foredeck when it’s bumpy so that boat is gone.
So we’re here waiting for another boat that can do blue water but will be a safe stable platform for both of us.
Plan to boat until they throw dirt in my face.
 
Wifey B: These songs are a tribute to so many of you who are much older than me, but still enjoying life to the fullest. :D

However, at the same time we must recognize even those young at heart much concede to physical changes and find new things for our young at heart selves to enjoy just as much as we did the old. :dance:



Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

______________________

I grew up in a different time and place. It was a time when elders were respected, and as kids you listened to what they had to say. Really listened. It was a better place. Today's youth feels it appropriate to preach to them.

When I grew up, you just grabbed a shovel when it snowed to clear the walk of a widow or older couple. You just did. Its just what you did.

WE can help older boaters stay on their boat a bit longer. Lug that weight up the dock for them. Fetch the extra loaf of bread when needed. Cook the extra portion of some dinner and offer it up. No need to be overt about it. Just be helpful. For no other reason than to be respectful, and its the right thing to do. Be the good neighbor to the neighbor you may not run into again.
 
Wifey B, respectfully, and I mean that honestly, you can share your opinions but you are way to young to truly understand what many of us are dealing with. I don't have time to go into detail right now, but at your age you are or should be at your physical peak, husband included. For now I will just say, "Man plans, God laughs". Nothing against you personally, but God's plans are often far from what we expect.
 
Wifey B, respectfully, and I mean that honestly, you can share your opinions but you are way to young to truly understand what many of us are dealing with. I don't have time to go into detail right now, but at your age you are or should be at your physical peak, husband included. For now I will just say, "Man plans, God laughs". Nothing against you personally, but God's plans are often far from what we expect.

Wifey B: I don't deny that at all and that's why I've shown nothing but respect for those of you facing the decisions and being forced to deal with limitations. I've fully considered the changes in plans that I know one day I'll have to face but those around me and some here will face far sooner. My instinct is to try to deny all aging, but I'm just hoping I'll be wise enough to adjust and turn my attention to new pleasures when I must. I do think I understand as well as any can, but no one can honestly understand exactly what someone else is feeling. Doesn't matter your age, another may face the same thing you did, but feel much different toward it and in that time of challenge. :)
 
To all those who proudly served in the armed forces, from one veteran to the others, thank you for your service.
Dan. MM1 USN
 
Yup...randomness pervades the Universe.

If I had gone with my wife to pick up our young daughter at a museum class, she would have been delayed enough (for me to tie my shoes) that the guy driving a truck who had a seizure and pressed the gas pedal to the floor wouldn't have t-boned her Honda Civic in the drivers side door, we would still be sea kayaking, we never would have bought a trawler, I wouldn't have joined this forum, read this post, and given this advice;

TOHO! (Today Only Happens Once)
 
At 65 I figured I got ten good years to take care and enjoy this boat. It very human friendly, wide walkways, good ergonomics, tall roomy engine room, work boat systems. No teak, a little varnish. Was turn-key when I got her, I just gotta keep her up?

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I do the minor stuff and hire a pro to take care of anything I don’t feel comfortable doing or know it could be done better. When I can no longer afford to follow this practice I will sell the boat and downsize to something simpler.

Tip of my glass to those of you who have the time, patience and ability to do the work yourselves.
 
And for those of us who did not serve we honor those who did
 
Loved all the comments and many right on point for me. 80 years of age. Wife 77. Lifetime boaters. Have lived aboard present vessel since 2012 in San Diego South Bay and Ensenada, mostly the former. No longer interested (nor able) to do much in engine room. Even keeping brightwork sharp getting to be a problem (would rather just make certain no one steals the couch by laying back on it while reading a good Jack Reacher yarn). Still trying to keep things tiptop and more than willing to pay a fair price and accomodate good mechanics and other service folk when needed but could write a book, or rather a saga, about encounters with those who are not. Moving back to the hard is not a pleasant prospect but as my ancestors have a history of outliving their minds by 5 to 10 years can see that day might come, and sadly, sooner than later.
 
To all those who proudly served in the armed forces, from one veteran to the others, thank you for your service.
Dan. MM1 USN
Thanks, Dan & back at you!
AMH2...... Maiden voyage of the USS Enterprise.
 

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My estate

Like C Lectric, next month I will turn 73.

Although I am at the moment "boatless" (as of yesterday), I am already considering my next boat, but I will likely be 75 when that happens. I will only pay cash for a boat because that philosophy is what is keeping me from bankruptcy right now, and allowing my company to revive. It also kept me from worrying too much for the last 18 months.

I do not worry about getting rid of my next boat because that will be up to my wife and kids and every dollar they get will be money in their pockets.

My family is reasonably long-lived. Grandparents all lived into upper 80's, my dad to 85. I figure maybe 85-90, so that would give me 10-15 years. Of course, I could drop dead before I even finish this Reply. If I do I just hope I don't fall on the Submit Reply button, because it would just be embarrassing.

As far as maintenance goes I have worked out a deal with the local mechanics. I don't do much maintenance and they don't start companies that operate student travel. Though, in all honesty, I have huge respect for those who CAN do most of the maintenance.

That's it.
 
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Almost 70, and arthritis has really reduced my flexibility and endurance. I have to hire out a lot of jobs that I used to do, and as long as the work is good and prices fair (and I'm able to write the check), I'm okay with it. Another aspect is from our diminutive friend, Dr. Ruth, "If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong." Or something to that effect.

So, keep boating until it's not fun. :D
 
At 69 years... I'm just too damn busy to make our fun Tolly really ready for sale!

Sooo... guess we'll just have to keep on enjoying her!

Anyway, just sold a ski boat couple month ago. Tolly Stays!

I figure my 89th year may be the Tolly sale year. We shall see!
 
Not to be a downer, but watched a very good movie yesterday on aging and dementia. "The Father" with Anthony Hopkins. Amazing performance. It will bring tears to your eyes, but highly recommended. Regarding boating, I came across a movie by accident called "Thunder Afloat" on TMC. A somewhat historical movie about the US Navy fighting German U-boats in the waters off New England. A little campy but entertaining. Made in 1939! Surprisingly good movie-making for that era. Entertaining for a rainy Memorial weekend.
 
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You have a stripper pole on the boat?

We have two stripper poles on ours

Tables on them usually but they slide up to the ceiling when in "party mode"
Have heard the stories from many of the debauchery on board but as yet have not seen pictures.

We did find evidence of "activities" during the cleanup after purchase. <shudder>
Replaced mattresses and linen.

In our early 50's and we got her thinking we will grow into her, she's a comfortable old girl and will serve us well as we age together.
 
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We have two stripper poles on ours

Tables on them usually but they slide up to the ceiling when in "party mode"
Have heard the stories from many of the debauchery on board but as yet have not seen pictures.

We did find evidence of "activities" during the cleanup after purchase. <shudder>
Replaced mattresses and linen.

In our early 50's and we got her thinking we will grow into her, she's a comfortable old girl and will serve us well as we age together.

The name of the boat was "Conception"?
No bodies? LOL
Based on what you said, it was time to get a profession crew that cleans up a crime scene. LOL
Time to get a couple of drug dogs onboard too.

Dont tell WifieB, she and her girl friends may want to come over to practice on the stripper poles. LOL
 
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B= a story. While in IGY St.Lucia ran into a couple on a sistership we shared an anchorage with some years prior in USVI national park. He was in his mid 80s and she earlier 70s. He had declined. To my eye had fairly advanced diffuse Lewy body disease. This causes dementia and Parkinsonism. They lived on their boat. A Canadian ex pat who married a local lady did all their maintenance and the boat was Bristol. On rare occasion they did a short cruise with him running the boat to Martinique or Bequia but it was really just a dock queen. He had fallen several times and was clearly unsafe on the boat. When I encountered her (laundry doing bedding) I took her aside and explained my observations and why I thought he had DLB with its prognosis. Initially she was in denial. We were stuck in the slip as I was waiting for new electronics to be delivered and installed. So she came by our boat a few days later telling me how thankful she was for my comments. She had self educated and realize he probably had diffuse Lewy body disease for quite awhile.
In clinical practice often had people telling a variant of “grandpa can’t use the TV remote anymore. What’s wrong” when they’re presenting with advanced Alzheimer’s. But on a boat even mild cognitive impairment can get you in a whole lot of trouble. You don’t have the question “would you sit in the front passenger seat with him driving?”. So I think it’s imperative dust farters significant others pay close attention to even mild signs of cognitive decline. The mini mental state exam takes a few moments to apply. It’s available on the web. You can do it yourself. If it shows impairment please get a formal assessment by a board certified neurologist. There are many reasons for dementia. I once diagnosed B12 deficiency caused subacute combined degeneration in a crew. He got treated and went on to buy a sistership and be a successful cruiser. Don’t put it off and don’t operate a boat if impaired.
 
Wifey B: I don't deny that at all and that's why I've shown nothing but respect for those of you facing the decisions and being forced to deal with limitations. I've fully considered the changes in plans that I know one day I'll have to face but those around me and some here will face far sooner. My instinct is to try to deny all aging, but I'm just hoping I'll be wise enough to adjust and turn my attention to new pleasures when I must. I do think I understand as well as any can, but no one can honestly understand exactly what someone else is feeling. Doesn't matter your age, another may face the same thing you did, but feel much different toward it and in that time of challenge. :)

If I could give 1 piece of advice, that I know you'll ignore because I would have to, be kind to your body regarding exercise. Don't push too hard especially with sports that are stressful to your joints like basketball, running, and weight lifting. It's counter-intuitive because you think you are staying young, but at the same time you are wearing out your body. Arthritis is called "wear and tear" for a reason. A sad but true extreme example is Ronnie Coleman. Good movie and worth a watch.

 
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