Anyone choose the boat over the woman?

[Hippocampus]

If you lose the boat there’s another just like it unless it’s a one off. Each person is unique.

I divorced my first wife against her wishes. Five years later she got exactly what was offered at meditation initially . Spent a college tuition in legal fees but worth it and difficulties it presented to my children at the time. Now both realize I had no choice. No adultery or physical mistreatment on either side but she was impossible to live with. BTW all liquid assets were frozen so the boat went to college and grad schools for the kids. People are more important than boats especially innocent kids. When my wife times out on boating it gets sold. She’s my soulmate, best friend and irreplaceable. I like my boat. I love my wife. Not a second thought about it.

 

[Comodave]

My wife and I met in high school. A good percentage of our dates were on my parents boat. We are going on 52 years of marriage this year and we are on our 24th boat. So really great wives are out there, just have to find one.

 

[Shrew]

The OP hasn't logged on in 2 years. In 2018 he had a 5 yr plan. In 2021 the girlfriend of 2 yrs had cold feet and he was considering dumping her for the boat.

Who knows what happened (Rhetorical Question...Like the written version of a shrug).

 

[psneeld]

I would speculate that if your dreams and your partners dreams are not in alignment to some extent then there are other problems in your relationship, and the boat is just the one you are focusing on.

That said... one of my biggest regrets in life is not leaving a failing relationship earlier, and loosing both for me and her those potential years of happiness.

Guys, it's not worth it. Half your assets and happy is better than all your assets and unhappiness.

How did Kevin end up living on his boat??? I walked away from a plush life but a bad relationship. I took only what I need to live out my days comfortably. Didn't fight over the little things, set up my ex so that she is financially comfortable, and remained semi friends.

Years later I am truly happy, something I never thought I would achieve.

With ya Kevin.

First wife and mother of my kids just had it with the USCG life and my attitude that came with it and she loved horses and not boats.

I wound up with 2 more liveaboards and living the dream according to my rich friends and she wound up in Texas with a 60 acre gentleman's horse ranch.

No matter the pain in separating...the last 25 years for both of us worked out just fine.

Lot's of people think that love is everything till it isn't.

When I observe them...it's like many 21st century parents.... sometimes their actions are way more about status as a "good parent" than their actual parenting. Same with marriage too many times. Just read Facebook if you have the stomach for it.

That's not to say I don't know many happy marriages where the 2 people have completely different hobbies, interests but still have a great relationship the rest of the time.

 

[Patemey]

An old saying: Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

 

[backinblue]

An old saying: Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

Another saying "It's cheaper to keep her"

 

[OldDan1943]

Another saying "It's cheaper to keep her"

Depends if one or both have prenups

 

[boomerang]

Cruising on a boat, exploring & seeing new places is about the most fun thing I've ever done, if I have my wife with me so we can share the adventures & memories. If we didn't have a mutual love of cruising and it was just me , I doubt I would leave the dock or even own a cruising boat. I could get on this forum and post all day about my cruising dreams or stories and honestly, nobody really gives a damn. Nor should they. My true satisfaction comes from dreaming, planning and reminiscing with my soulmate. If Liz didn't like boats ,yet we got along as well as we get along, I'd find another hobby that we could enjoy together. Watching the sun set by myself,both rhetorical and literally, is no fun.

 

[Don L]

A good boat is a lot easier to find than a good woman!

 

[backinblue]

A good boat is a lot easier to find than a good woman!

But both can be high maintenance if you pick the wrong one.

 

[klee wyck]

Cruising on a boat, exploring & seeing new places is about the most fun thing I've ever done, if I have my wife with me so we can share the adventures & memories. If we didn't have a mutual love of cruising and it was just me , I doubt I would leave the dock or even own a cruising boat. I could get on this forum and post all day about my cruising dreams or stories and honestly, nobody really gives a damn. Nor should they. My true satisfaction comes from dreaming, planning and reminiscing with my soulmate. If Liz didn't like boats ,yet we got along as well as we get along, I'd find another hobby that we could enjoy together. Watching the sun set by myself,both rhetorical and literally, is no fun.

This^^^

 

[smitty477]

This^^^

Yes - exactly

 

[hmason]

Divorce teaches you things; like fractions.

 

[Iggy]

Gee, I am kinda in the same boat. Be interesting to hear how others deal with less than enthusiastic ladies.

Its funny you said that. One friend had a 19' boat. Bought a 32' footer for the two to enjoy. To find out that she really didn't like boating. He sold it and bought a 21' footer and now leavers her at home!:lol:

 

[BruceK]

Divorce teaches you things; like fractions.

Did you perchance mean frictions?

 

[HeadMistress]

A married man named George REALLY wanted a boat! For years he begged his wife Ruth to let him buy one, but to no avail until finally she said yes--on one condition: she would never have to set foot on it. He agreed,bought boat he yearned for and named it RUTHLESS


--Peggie

 

[BruceK]

A married man named George REALLY wanted a boat! For years he begged his wife Ruth to let him buy one, but to no avail until finally she said yes--on one condition: she would never have to set foot on it. He agreed,bought boat he yearned for and named it RUTHLESS


--Peggie

The boat mover/marine electrician who did a great job delivering our boat Melbourne > Sydney left onboard 2 hand towels used for cleaning, monogrammed "Ruthless". I`m wondering...

 

[Delta Riverat]

My wife likes boats. I mean she like boat rides. She's not so much into the work. Suggested we hire someone to "clean the boat"

I answered "we'll clean the boat"

 

[grahamdouglass]

Your asking for relationship advice in choosing between a boat and a woman,…. on a trawler forum. This is kind of like asking a yacht broker if you should follow your banker’s advice and not buy his yacht.

Marinas and yacht clubs are full of lonely old men and old boats, there’s a reason there are not a lot women. Boats take a lot of work, boats take a lot of time and boats take a lot of money. This means that the woman will reasonably assume she will see her partner less, have less money on things she might want and will have to do extra domestic shores when on the boat.

For a lot of women, this is loose, loose and loose.

 

[OldDan1943]

I think most of us can remember the guy who was rebuilding a boat, and was active here.
His boat was almost finished…. We were all interested and waiting for its launch. Suddenly, he put the boat up for sale. I guess he wife wanted a divorce because of the time he spent rebuilding the boat. So he sold the boat. I think she still want to divorce him.
We never heard the outcome.

 

[backinblue]

My wife likes boats. I mean she like boat rides. She's not so much into the work. Suggested we hire someone to "clean the boat"

I answered "we'll clean the boat"

Correction. "I'll clean the boat"

 

[rgano]

I was living aboard my Grand banks 42 alone when I met my wife. First day we met I took here to the barrier island in the boat. Sold the boat 17 years after we married, and she still misses it. So is essence, SHE had the initial choice because the boat and I were a package deal.

 

[slowgoesit]

When Covid hit and killed our business, it was my wife's idea to buy another boat. If anything happens to me, she says she's keeping the boat. . . . guess the shoes on the other foot!

 

[SteveK]

I was living aboard my Grand banks 42 alone when I met my wife. First day we met I took here to the barrier island in the boat. Sold the boat 17 years after we married, and she still misses it. So is essence, SHE had the initial choice because the boat and I were a package deal.

Rich, I was living aboard my Catalina 30 sailboat when I met my wife of 16 years ago. I asked if she wanted to go for a boat ride, which she accepted.
So we hopped into the dingy and away we went. On purpose the dingy took on some spray and we were wet. I offered to dry her clothes, the rest is history. She was a boater.
We collectively moved up in size of vessel and continue to enjoy life together.

 

[Hippocampus]

Guess I am working with a different definition of love I’d risk death to prevent injury to my wife. A boat trivial compared to her.
Love isn’t a girlfriend nor significant other or even some spousesm
Love is a soul mate. Married or not. If you are in love v not determines the decision.

 

[guy with a boat]

On purpose the dingy took on some spray and we were wet. I offered to dry her clothes, the rest is history. She was a boater.

Interesting strategy. Sounds like it worked out.

 

[OldDan1943]

Interesting strategy. Sounds like it worked out.

Come on, they had to do something while her clothes were drying.

 

[ksanders]

Guess I am working with a different definition of love I’d risk death to prevent injury to my wife. A boat trivial compared to her.
Love isn’t a girlfriend nor significant other or even some spousesm
Love is a soul mate. Married or not. If you are in love v not determines the decision.

You are fortunate!

Many people spend a lifetime in a relationship that is not nearly as strong. People marry young without knowing the concept of long term compatibility.

Even culture comes into play. American culture itself creates challenges and often times unrealistic expectations, resulting in deep unhappiness.

 

[mvweebles]

What if your spouse was unable to participate? Suffered from extreme seasickness (I know one such couple)? What if they developed a physical barrier or disability?

I know of several couples with asymmetric enthusiasm for cruising yet manage to work it out. It's not a binary choice. There are many shades if gray between the end points where both can get 80% of what they want.

There are a lot of reasons to end a relationship. Ultimatum about cruising is way down the list. When you breathe your last breath, there won't be a speck of fiberglass in your mind. Will be the faces of those who have touched your life.

Peter

 

[rgano]

I never thought about using the dink to wet her clothes on that first day. Very nicely done, SteveK.