Yes, Cantoni is bitter and vengeful. It's really unbecoming. He was the ultimate buyer of the 120 (the original buyer bailed out when 2008 hit), and it turned into a big fight between PAE and him. A big element in the whole thing is that he got nailed by the Canadian tax authorities who demanded tax on the boat. His claim against PAE was that he never "accepted" the boat, and hence never took ownership, which conveniently would solve his tax problem. It ended up in court and the judge/jury found in PAE's favor on everything. But Cantoni continues to poke PAE at every opportunity.
Anyway, I think success building a boat with PAE (and probably others) is all about your attitude. If you can be collaborative, it works quite well. If you stand around a yell, it doesn't work so well. But I have never found yelling to be an effective management technique in any field.
The boats are all hand built from logs, barrels of resin, and blocks of stainless steel, and every boat is different. So it's not like ordering a car, and rather more like building a custom home, except much harder because you are also building all the city infrastructure to support the home.
I enjoy the process, but it's a lot of work, but mostly because I want stuff done a particular way. I know lots of people who basically fill out the order, then pick up the boat when it's done. That works fine, but you get things the way the yard wants to build it, not the way you might want.
Where things get into trouble is when a buyer thinks they are buying a car and that they will take the keys and run off across the ocean. That kind of predictability and reliability only comes when you build the same thing, over and over again, perfecting it with each iteration. But that's counter to the definition of a semi-custom boat. You need to shake it out for a while before it becomes a rock solid, reliable boat.
I think anyone considering a Nordhavn should read threads like yours. PAE did make mistakes with Cantoni but they won the suit and that tells you something about his case. He had built Nordhavn's before. One of the frequent references in his contract was "Like Westport." If I walked into Westport and said I wanted them to build like Nordhavn, they're throw me out and I mean that literally. The more Cantoni rants, the more I want to come to Nordhavn's side and ignore anything wrong they did.
Each builder has their way of working. I'd be totally a wreck by the delays you've encountered, but I absolutely know that is to be expected on a Nordhavn. I'd have to let someone else handle it for me. Nordhavn and Westport are both technically semi-custom as the hulls are standard models. However, in real spirit, Westport is a Production Yacht and Nordhavn more a custom Trawler. You select every piece of equipment on a Nordhavn. You move things around. You design along the way, not all in advance.
I offer these observations not as criticism of Nordhavn, but facts of a build. Incidentally, I know someone taking delivery of a Hatteras in December, 15 months late. I consider Hatteras a great company but dealing with their scheduling would really annoy me.
With Nordhavn you won't end up with a production boat. It will look like others but it will be very different inside. This boat will be your boat, your design, your preferences, your boat. Building another way you would be robbed of a lot of what you enjoy, your personal involvement in design, and your involvement in commissioning. You get real pleasure out of building. I build to get an end product. I'm getting a boat built right now but I have people there who work for me, rather than myself. We selected all arrangements and all interior details up front and that was our participation.
I'm reminded of N4061 building his Helmsman. Omg, if I was the builder, he would have driven me crazy with all his changes. However, it all made sense as he'd previously built Nordhavn's and was doing it similarly.
To everyone, know your builder and accept their methods of doing business, both strengths and weaknesses. They aren't going to change just for you. The vast majority of people who build Nordhavn's are very happy with them. They're pretty much an open book. They meet requirements like being a stable company and one with proven quantity. If they're late you shouldn't be surprised or angry. Just work to get them as soon as you can.
It reminds me a bit of people who get married and their spouse is exactly as they were when dating and they don't like it. You fell in love with them, married them for who they were, and divorce them for remaining who they are.
Know your builder and know yourself. I think you'll end up with an incredible boat and be very happy.
I ask because my question is how often will all be cruising with you? Don't buy for 5% of the time, buy for 95%. I would bet that typically only 1 of them would be aboard at a time for any long cruise. For a night or two, being short a cabin is no big deal as people can sleep anywhere. 
