No, it's not -- in that model, I either give you my identifying information so I can become your marketing target and enhance your customer database, or else you charge me more. You may think it's a benign, passive kind of thing, but from my perspective I have to pay higher prices (or go elsewhere) if I want to avoid being somebody's captive marketing target. It's the same issue I have with a lot of charitable causes. Alumni associations, relief organizations, political parties and PACs, arts foundations -- if I give any of them two cents then they will hound me to the ends of the earth forever after. You may not grasp this because you're on the opposite side, but I think a lot of customers and contributors are sick and tired of being everybody's constant marketing target.
I don't say it's benign and I fully grasp your view. It's a choice. On groceries, I either save 5% by signing up or I don't. Most grocery stores don't send much out. If you don't want it in your email, use a burner email account. I hate having to use a card to get the lowest price, but I play the game.
On those like Ace, I think the question is do you want their sales flyer. Most customers do. As a member store, I have no choice. As an Ace dealer, I wish I could just give everyone the discounts rather than having them sign up. If they aren't rewards members, we also advise them and they can have immediate savings, but their choice.
Another value of signing up is tracking orders shipped. I don't give out my home address, but use a PO Box. However, for delivery I must give the home address.
Now, I do think there must be care on the retailer's side. How frequently do they contact you? Also, what opt-outs do they have. Most memberships today allow you to opt completely out of marketing contact.
As a general retailer when we get a customers information, we ask is it ok to email them coupons and sale information. 99% say it is. Anytime we email they have the option to cancel those emails. Few do, just those who move away.
Bed, Bath and Beyond has been by far the most pervasive with coupons, membership not required. I'd feel I was getting cheated if I ever bought from them and didn't get a 20% discount on everything. The coupons I hate are CVS, Walgreens, and Office Depot. Anything I ever wanted to buy was one of their exclusions.
You're right about Charities and all you list from that point forward being the worst. People are hesitant to give anonymously due to needing the receipt for tax purposes.
I am philosophically opposed to everyone not getting the same deals and prices. However, as a merchant, I can't notify one of specials without information. I don't charge them for it and it's available by choice to every customer. We will also grant it in-store to shoppers. We don't vary prices except in Ace. Elsewhere, every customer gets same deal.
The place that has always bothered me the most is auto dealerships. I study, I deal, I negotiate, and I get great prices and I think it is so unfair that I may get a better deal than the other person buying the same vehicle today.
I hate all the marketing mail as much as anyone. However, the mail from places I shop is not what bothers me. It's the Wednesday unsolicited mail and all the other unsolicted mail. I hate that I can't unsubscribe to it. I think the greatest invader of privacy is the post office that works on behalf of the mailing parties, not the recipients and has built a business on junk mail.