Sounds like you are ‘on your way’. You have a list of your requirements/needs.
You do have boating experience so it wont be ‘first out of the box’.
I suggest you add American Tug. You might look for a used 40 something range. They are scarce and expensive. I have an AT34, which is now called an AT36. Space is always a problem.
You are about to be covered up with suggesting. 2 staterooms, 1 or 2 engines, 1 or 2 thrusters etc.
No matter what you buy, you will ‘make the boat ‘yours’ by adding ‘stuff’. This is part of the refit process. Start slow…… plan the refit process then follow, the plan. Nothing is carved in stone.
May I suggest, you start with a boat with stout engine(s), semi displacement boat. Everything else is for your comfort.
Contrary to the phrase ‘cruse ready’, it ain’t.
Okay, hold on tight, start the process.
You can always charter a boat or boats. If you find the opportunity, visit boats, walk around the inside to see it will fit your mind. Remember, include your spouse in this process too.
One major advice, you dont want a ‘project boat.’
Unless you have specific questions for me, I will let others with more experience and knowledge advise you.
It’s a process.
Luckily, I've got adequate cruising experience and have spent a considerable amount of time on the Gulf Coast and the Western Caribbean over the years from Mexico down to Panama along with a few trips to the Northern Bahamas. However, since it's been awhile, I'm going to initially be doing shorter trips closer to our home port for the first few months just to build my confidence back up and familiarize myself with the new boat.
As far as American Tugs go, I'd love to have a 485. However, as you said, they're "scarce and expensive." I'd likely have to wait for a new one to be built and that's not a possibility for a variety of reasons. I love the brand though and have had several opportunities to spend some time on one .
While I'm semi-flexible if a great deal comes along, my preference is for a two stateroom, one engine boat. I'm older now and really don't like having two engines to maintain, nor the usually more restrictive access to perform that maintenance. My last boat required me to occasionally contort myself in ways that I really don't want to attempt now. I want a single engine with wide open access all the way around and if I install a Wesmar APU(aux propulsion unit), there's really no need to have two engines for redundancy. A bow thruster would also be nice, but I've never really seen enough benefit to want a stern thruster.
As far as a "refit" goes, I don't mind adding needed components such as a water maker, isolation transformer, solar panels, etc., but I've done complete rebuilds on two of my boats over the years and I'm not going to do that again. They were fun projects and I enjoyed the challenges, but I'm now not interested in spending months doing the work myself or trying to find reliable contractors who do quality work at fair prices, which is becoming more difficult all the time. Lastly though, if I were to buy a project boat, my wife would more than likely kill me, so.....not happening.
While I'm ok with a full-displacement boat, I'd prefer a semi-displacement if possible. As you know though, the semi-displacement category is a wide one which varies from a boat that with enough power will barely creep up onto the step to boats that are almost a full planing hull. I have a preference for the benefits of a displacement hull with an efficient cruise speed in the 8-9kt range, but would also like one with the practical ability to achieve 13-15kts if needed. However, since a boat is nothing more than a series of interconnected compromises that float, I'll have to wait and see what I actually end up with. lol
My wife and I have a fairly workable partnership going when it comes to what we both expect out of our next boat. She's all about the livability, storage and comfort while I'm all about the seaworthiness, safety and operational aspects including reliability, simplicity and maintainability of the various systems. However, we are both mindful when it comes to things like fuel consumption, insurance and other direct/fixed operational expenses of any proposed boat.
Thanks for your input.