Humor

The friendliest place on the web for anyone who enjoys boating.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
4339-albums438-picture6332.jpg
 
Get it?
 

Attachments

  • 115704231_10158468020082645_4292658949151173074_o.jpg
    115704231_10158468020082645_4292658949151173074_o.jpg
    68.2 KB · Views: 96
32 Strange Things to get your mind off politics and the pandemic

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE......

1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

3. The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

6. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo. No one knows why.

7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2” by 3-1/2”.

8. During the chariot scene in “Ben Hur,” a small red car can be seen in the distance (andHeston’s wearing a watch).

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries... )

10. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.

11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made ofwood.

12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a
game of chess is 318,979,564, 000.

13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and
silver.

14. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a
recorded Wendy before.

15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

16. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and
sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this??)

17. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves. That’s the opposite of the norm.

18. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’ s “Born in the USA.”

19. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

20. The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

21. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. Atthat time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

22. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.

23. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into
quicksand.

24. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of
celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

25. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

26. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

27. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, “Elementary, my dear Watson.”

28. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than
three steps backwards while dancing!

29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher

30. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

31. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passingwind in a spacesuit damages them.

32. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!
 
Last edited:
15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

Au contraire, the first bombs that fell on Berlin in WW2 were dropped by the French Navy in June 1940. The zoo was bombed by the British in September 41'.

However Siam the asiatic elephant survived(died 1948) and lived to see out the war. I had the pleasure of an extended visit to the zoo in 1981.

Sorry, couldn't let that 'fact' stand uncontested, not after what Siam went through.
 
A yooper was approached by a mugger who said: "Give me all your money or I'll stick you with this syringe full of the AIDS virus."

"Nope" said the yooper, "You don't scare me. I'm wearing a condom."
 
Greetings,
Mr. A. Google is your friend.... https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Yooper

Well - ya can learn sometin every da!

Depending on its importance... ya may not file it; creating a loss, yet regaining that "mind-space" the next da!

One way or the other... brain files get fuller every day; till we reach final flight, when our personal files fly back into the universally infinite ether.
 
Damn it! That’s more wasted brain cells. That is a word I’ll never use but now it’s stuck in my brain.

Oh wait! Never mind, it’s gone.

What was that word and its meaning again??

Oh, heck, nevermind... In short order I again won't feel need or desire to recall the word. For a shot period there will only be a vague memory that there was some word or another in mid 2020 which was of no use to me!

2020 is filled with words, phrases, thoughts that have no use - to me; or nearly anyone else. Has anyone else noticed that currently increasing phenonium???
 
A yooper was approached by a mugger who said: "Give me all your money or I'll stick you with this syringe full of the AIDS virus."

"Nope" said the yooper, "You don't scare me. I'm wearing a condom."
Covid update: make the syringe full of Covid 19, swap a mask for the condom.

Not sure a mask makes a good condom though. Curiously, the early indicator of HIV sero conversion all those years ago was "a flu like illness".
 
Covid update: make the syringe full of Covid 19, swap a mask for the condom.

Not sure a mask makes a good condom though. Curiously, the early indicator of HIV sero conversion all those years ago was "a flu like illness".

Best fool proof condom ever...

If you did wear that [you know how/where]... Insertion - not!!!
 
Not really humorous, but where else? The back story is the cub was near dying of thirst, the lioness could not carry it to the waterhole, so the elephant got involved.
r-d-22aug (4).png
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Art
And now...the rest of the story...

The image of the elephant carrying a lion cub with its trunk was created by Kruger National Park and shared to the South Africa organization’s official Twitter account, Kruger Sightings, on April Fool’s Day in 2018. The original posting was accompanied by the words “Sloof Lirpa,” or “April Fools” backwards
 

Attachments

  • E1.jpg
    E1.jpg
    125.8 KB · Views: 97
The image of the elephant carrying a lion cub with its trunk was created by Kruger National Park and shared to the South Africa organization’s official Twitter account, Kruger Sightings, on April Fool’s Day in 2018. The original posting was accompanied by the words “Sloof Lirpa,” or “April Fools” backwards

I'll not tell my wife of this broken dream. :nonono: I figured it was very likely photo shopped. :facepalm: She loves it! :D
 
We all suspected it was photo shopped, but spiking the balloon?

What`s your next refuge after France?
 
Not really humorous, but where else? The back story is the cub was near dying of thirst, the lioness could not carry it to the waterhole, so the elephant got involved.
r-d-22aug (4).png


Photoshop...google It
 

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom