Letting Go

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In 1997, I liquidated an enormous collection of everything, left the US and began a new life and new career in the Dominican Republic with what I could fit un a 4x4x3 crate. Then I married a Diplomat with even more stuff than I had and we just had a big argument over paying to store all this crap while we cruise the loop and beyond. If and when we return, I don’t want this stuff waiting for me. I don’t want it as an unfinished job that takes money out of our cruising kitty every month, money we could use to enjoy ourselves, maintain our vessel, buy our fuel, or just give to some other cause more important than the past.

If what you decide to hold onto gives you a warm & fuzzy feeling that you will return, then store it. If it’s already something that you dread dealing with later, dump it. If it’s something you know you’re not finished with, either take it along or give it to someone who will keep it for you until you know what to do, but try not to teather yourself to material that prevents you from living in the moment, because that is where freedom, adventure and discovery exist. Isn’t that why you want a boat?
 
Well I’m new to the boating thing having just bought my first boat a few months ago but the smaller living thing I’m pretty used to at this point. So I’ll say this I’m slightly younger than most on here only being 32 years old and while not having an entire lifetime of things accumulated, I still have had Quite a bit of junk I have accumulated over the years. 5 years ago i was living in a large loft, right down town, right above all the nice bars and restaurants, had a few nice classic cars all paid for, a nice gun collection, no real debt so to speak other than student loans and all the other stuff that comes along with hobbies like that, totes of tactical gear from when I was in the military and toolboxes full of tools along with a full nice kitchen and closets full of all the self inflicted necessities I thought I needed. Now about 4 years ago I started a new job that paid very well and allowed me to live anywhere I wanted within reason and they would pay for travel. So I thought I can live anywhere might as well try living everywhere for a bit. My grandfather happened to be selling an older rv in nice usable shape so I bought it from him and started traveling. I put all my clothing and other stuff I didn’t think I needed in storage, guns, cars and tools went to close friends homes and off I went. Now this is 4 years later, just last month I finally said hell with it and stopped paying for my storage unit, and just sold my last toy car. It was really the first time in my life I really had nothing holding me back and it was the freest I’ve ever felt in my entire life. The last few years I’ve been going home to the rv I’ve found I’ve been throwing stuff away every trip and at this point I’ve got almost nothing left, I made a rule after the first year. if I havent used it or wore it in over a year it was garbage, not to be donated or given away no matter the acquisition cost because that just promotes keeping it around for someone who may never show up. I just realized other than my guns( still have all of them lol) and some tools I have left all of my clothing and belonging will fit in the back of my old Jeep Cherokee two door lol. Not sure where I was going with all that but it’s amazingly satisfying not having all that stuff anymore and not having anything that requires me to put forth any effort other than my boat, rv, and a junky old Jeep I paid less for than a whole set of tires from my last car.
 
I think living in a smaller area is easy for some, difficult for some, and impossible for others. I've lived in several RV's over the years with a total of about three years when added all up. The last stint was three years ago for seven months in a 32 Winnebago while my house was gutted and rebuilt.

I have prefered smaller RV's versus larger ones, the largest I owned was a 35 foot fifth wheel. The smallest was 17 foot travel trailer. I found the smaller the trailer the more I travelled with them and the less stressful while on the road.

I have found with my wife and I living in a smaller space as long as there were two areas we could go to, everything was easier than just one open space as in the 17 and 21 foot trailers.

With my express cruiser, I know I can be quite comfortable even over half a year or longer as it has more room than my 17 and 21 foot trailers ever had.

But I know there are others who don't feel comfortable unless the boat has a washer/dryer, dishwasher, etc. The full monty so to speak. I was in the Canadian military and cadet organization and lived for extended periods in very small tents and was happy in such a confined space. But I know others would want something substantially larger.

I always get a kick out of replies to OP's question as to a suitable boat for the Loop when the average response is you need something like a 40 footer or larger. Nonsense, of course you don't require a boat that large. You can be quite comfortable in something like a 33 foot Back Cove or even something smaller, like a Ranger Tug 28.

Some say here that something smaller feels like camping. This tells me they've never really camped. A 23 foot hardtop express cruiser has more amenities than I ever had in any tent I was ever in, and warmer too - for example, the Ranger Tug 23. But arguing smaller is better just isn't relevant for many. What is important is that you feel at home and comfortable in whatever it is you chose to undergo longer cruising distances. If you have the wallet to cover your desires then go for it and don't copy what others say you will need.

One of the owners of Slow Boat took his 22 foot express cruiser from Seattle to Alaska a couple of times, and down the west coast of Vancouver Island. He had a 90 hp outboard and 50 gallons of gas - and he had a good time.
 
I think when it comes to boats, that bigger is better, as long as you can afford it. And when it comes to bluewater and high latitudes, then absolutely, bigger and heavier is better.
 
Been living aboard full time for near 4 years and getting ready to finally go back and clear out the dirt house and put tenants in.

If its not onboard by now its not needed.
Useless stuff meet rubbish skip
 
makobuilders said:
I think when it comes to boats, that bigger is better, as long as you can afford it. And when it comes to bluewater and high latitudes, then absolutely, bigger and heavier is better.
Click to expand...

Yep.
No way would we go smaller again.
We would go bigger if we found the right boat.
4 years of casual looking has found nought.
 
GH41 said:
My wife and I are in a position to sell our home, buy a boat and spend 2-3 years cruising without using our life savings or what we have invested. Our boat budget is 200-250K and another 150-200K for a small condo for when we get tired. Without unexpected expenses we can afford to spend 3-4K per month for expected expenses. On paper we can do it but my problem is letting go of everything I am use to having. Has anyone been through this besides me?
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If you have never owned a large format boat, you better not jump right in until you have had it for at least a couple of years. No need to sell everything until you even know that BOTH of you are up for it. Cruising isn't a hobby, it is a 180-degree, come-about lifestyle change. It is inadvisable to jump in feet first until you know y'all can manage and understand what yacht ownership is all about. Just start slow. Find a boat and move it close to your house (or buy a house close to it). Go on weekends. Take it out and take it anchoring. Stuff will break and you need to understand all the onboard systems before you cast off the lines full-time.
 
Tom.B said:
If you have never owned a large format boat, you better not jump right in until you have had it for at least a couple of years. No need to sell everything until you even know that BOTH of you are up for it. Cruising isn't a hobby, it is a 180-degree, come-about lifestyle change. It is inadvisable to jump in feet first until you know y'all can manage and understand what yacht ownership is all about. Just start slow. Find a boat and move it close to your house (or buy a house close to it). Go on weekends. Take it out and take it anchoring. Stuff will break and you need to understand all the onboard systems before you cast off the lines full-time.
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Thought I mentioned it before but maybe not.. I have owned boats all of my life. I ran a 35' offshore charter boat on the weekends for several years. I ran my brothers 48' fishing boat for 5 years. I helped complete a 40' one off SF boat for my x boss. I built and raced motorcycles for years. The only place I am weak is electrical work. 12 volt is nothing but I am not comfortable with AC. Very little in the way of maintenance or boat handling intimidates me. I just can't imagine being self sufficient without tools.
 
I bought my AT34, (downsized from a N46)I was divorced, lived alone and sort of figured I could single hand the boat where ever I wanted to go. Things got complicated when she moved aboard. What was a nice closet and 4 drawers in the stateroom suddenly became 1/2 a closet and I was left with one drawer in the stateroom. SHRUG I guess it is worth it. She just wont leave me. CHUCKLE
Things get tight when her parents come to visit for a couple of months. SHRUG
I fly them in from Vietnam and return them home. They get the stateroom, we get the saloon. I wake early to cook and wander and listen to the mysteries on the Sat radio and maybe watch some TV.
In hindsight I guess I should have bought a boat with 2 well defined staterooms and 2 heads. Well, I didn't and I dont want to start over on another boat. To be honest, I have way too much money and time invested in this boat. All that would put me up to a nice 41ft AT. When I had my 46, 2SR no one wanted to go with me so why should I haul around an extra unused SR. I'd just fill up the space or let Yen fill it up with clothes and other unused stuff.
 
Of all the time spent reading on this forum it has been threads like this that have had the greatest affect on me. People said nobody wanted their treasures. They went to sell their stuff and nobody wanted it. I started looking around and I'm not sure I want it either.


You gotta let it go sometime, boat or no boat. Something is telling you to get started.
 
Gh41, it's about "to be, or to have," and balancing those seemingly polar opposites.
Letting go is a huge piece of freedom!
It is a choice, no more have-to's.
 
We've been living aboard since 2008, we sold the house in 2014. We have stuff in storage- some tools I thought I couldn't part with, some furniture we should have left behind, and some family stuff that is "irreplaceable".



Truth is, storing stuff is just dumb. We now have storage units filled with stuff that is now 10 yrs older than when we put it in there. It costs us about $2K/year, and the costs keep going up, and the value of the stored stuff keeps going down. We could easily replace every item in storage with new and have money left over had we not stored it.



GET RID OF IT ALL!!! Keep the photos, maybe a few heirlooms, but divvy up what you can to family who might appreciate the stuff, but don't pay to store stuff. It is, after all, just stuff. It can be replaced. You can use the money you save to enjoy a few more dinners out, buy nicer folding bikes, whatever, but you'll probably never wish you'd have kept more stuff.
 
GH41 said:
Thought I mentioned it before but maybe not.. I have owned boats all of my life. I ran a 35' offshore charter boat on the weekends for several years. I ran my brothers 48' fishing boat for 5 years. I helped complete a 40' one off SF boat for my x boss. I built and raced motorcycles for years. The only place I am weak is electrical work. 12 volt is nothing but I am not comfortable with AC. Very little in the way of maintenance or boat handling intimidates me. I just can't imagine being self sufficient without tools.
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If you did mention it... I probably (read: apparently) missed it. Sorry, but thanks for the clarification. Moving on then... :)
 
The threads original post posed the question of dealing with stuff.
I view a boat ( or an RV) a bit differently.
I think we all need to consider the degree to which the equipment matches our social rather than our technical interests.
Yes I have had to get rid of stuff. Yes I have had a hard time and needed help.

I am reminded of a time 45 years ago when I helped out at some boat shows for a friend. I was not the best expert on the technology or the specs but I connected when I described the boat as a social tool. "what are you thinking of doing with it, who are you taking on it and how will it work with you?"
If you cannot grapple with those questions you will never buy anything or at least never buy anything you will be happy with. ....... and you will never get rid of stuff because you will never be sure of your decision
 
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Would this plan work and not require the huge leap of faith that seems to be holding you back ?

1. Shop for and buy the boat
2. Put your stuff in storage
3. Rent your house for 6 months
4 After 6 months decide if you want to take the leap, go back to land, or something in the middle.

Good Luck. This is a tough decision, but do not forget your good fortune in this dilemma. There are no bad outcomes.
 
Getting rid of everything was SURPRISINGLY liberating! After the first week or so, I was very happy with the way I felt --- MUCH less "stuff" to stress over.

Ever read a Jack Reacher novel written by Lee Child?
 
rsn48 said:
Getting rid of everything was SURPRISINGLY liberating! After the first week or so, I was very happy with the way I felt --- MUCH less "stuff" to stress over.

Ever read a Jack Reacher novel written by Lee Child?
Click to expand...


So funny, my complete collection of Lee Child books was something I recently let go of...
 
I was happy to get rid of everything - after storing it for almost 2yrs :) I sold a lot at a marine swap meet and got roughly about half of the storage fees.

The big plus to storing things was I learned what I actually needed and used. After 2 years I looked and saw things I had completely forgotten - and wasn't missing.

I also bought an old cargo van. Added big pad locks and a wall between the front and the cargo area. And I painted it with house paint and it looks very much like a crime scene. On the plus side I have extra storage that is fairly cheap and a big work van when I need it.
 
GH41 said:
My wife and I are in a position to sell our home, buy a boat and spend 2-3 years cruising without using our life savings or what we have invested. Our boat budget is 200-250K and another 150-200K for a small condo for when we get tired. Without unexpected expenses we can afford to spend 3-4K per month for expected expenses. On paper we can do it but my problem is letting go of everything I am use to having. Has anyone been through this besides me?
Click to expand...

You don't mention if this is a retirement plan or a sabbatical. If the latter, we did this back in 2013. The short story:

- July 2013 sold the home and everything in it (no storage unit for us), moved aboard our 55' trawler.
- October 2013 left San Diego with the (then) FUBAR group and cruised Mexico for the season with our 11 YO son (homeschooled)
- July 2014 turned north and cruised as far as Glacier Bay
- December 2015 - returned to San Diego

We enjoyed the process of moving on board, while not easy it was cleansing. We now know we don't need stuff. We do regret not buying a condo in San Diego at the time as the market was depressed at the time and we could have had a deal. Our original plan was not to return here but our son wanted to return for high school.

The return to work as 50 somethings was a big challenge, agism is a real thing and it took way longer to recover from the sabbatical than we planned. Careers are fine now thankfully.

That said, we're 2 years out from repeating the process, this time as a retirement. Our son will be in college next year so we have only to consider his non-school schedule.

We still don't own property, we always regret that but we've also had a couple of nightmare tenants that remind us about renting.

In all, something I would not trade for anything but the costs (money, career, family) are not as simple as you may think.
 
Oh, the complications of success and old age. My wife and I moved aboard when I was 25, on a 27' sailboat without running water or refrigeration. We spent hurricane seasons on the hook working, the rest of the year cruising. Now, at 75 y/o, the memory of those years are my favorite of all time.
 
Letting go

Bought our boat in March, sold everything and our house of thirty-six years.
Lived on the boat while selling everything, then we could slowly decide what to take. We have a very small storage unit for a few antiques and family “stuff”.

Best thing we ever did. Shoved off two weeks ago. Heading south for the winter then the Great Loop in 2020.
 
We are doing just that, we put the house on the market, it is under contract to close next week. We had the kids over and gave them everything we intended for them to have when we passed but they didn't have to go through the pain and grief part.... after they got past the part of not wanting to be greedy, they started to really ask for things that I didn't know meant so much to them. It has been pretty cool. Now they have all of our things that they wanted and they know they just are not allowed to sell them until we die. That way if we decide we don't like the boat living after five or so years we can come back get a small place and if we need a power tool or kitchen gadget, we can "borrow" one.
 
If you live long enough you will downsize....physical limitations and mental decline put many in smaller apartments, assisted living and full time care. The question is when and how. Do you control these decisions and destiny or are you going to leave it up to your children to make these decisions on you behalf?

At some point get rid of the stuff, sell it, give it away and throw it away. If you want a boat, buy it, live on it and enjoy it. Meet and make new friends and have new adventures. As they say life is short so live every day as your last.
 
Dual purpose

Comodave said:
My problem would be letting go of all the tools that would not fit onto the boat. I know that I would use them if I were able to get them onboard, but I guess my table saw would be a bit much...
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What a coincidence! Your end table in your saloon looks EXACTLY like my table saw!:rofl:

Todd
 
I agree with OC Driver. Buy the boat and keep the house. Cruise the Great Loop for a year then decide. I have seen folks who have sold everything and never looked back, and others who didn't last 6 months. Its a totally different life style. We did the GL in 2011/12 and have cruised 6 to 8 months every year since, but its nice to have a home to come back to and be with the kids and grandkids in the summers.
 
Good Advise

O C Diver said:
Buy the boat, cruise for 6 months, then make the decision. If you don't already have the boat and haven't done an extended cruise, it's a pretty big leap of faith to blindly go forward. If you buy the boat, try it for 6 months, and it doesn't work out, your loss is much smaller. For every couple who was successful doing it, there are probably an equal or greater number that realized it was a mistake for them.

Ted
Click to expand...

OC has it right! Turned out my wife was a little cloisterfobic (sp) and we didn’t know. Ended up enjoying both.
 
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