Long, Painfull Decline Over

[Baker]

I think everything has pretty much been said. Prayers for your healing and prayers for her soul.

I will add one thing.....look at what a beautiful thread you and her have started!!! There are some very fine beautiful souls on this forum!!! Godspeed to your wife and prayers for your healing!!!

 

[Heron]

My dad went through this many years ago....He and my Mom bought their dreamboat on which they hoped to cruise into a happy retirement. A brain tumor and relatively quick end, brought that dream to a halt. The boat kept my dad going until he died some years later. Let the water be your therapy....

 

[Conchy Joe]

My thoughts and prayers are for you as you adjust to a new life.It is tough living without the "First Mate" as I found out when I lost mine 5 years ago after a long battle with cancer After here passing I bought the trawler that we had planned to buy earlier but it did not work out due to her illness.Spend lots of time on your boat, it will bring peace and good thoughts of your wonderful years spent together.
Scott. (Conchy Joe)

 

[Capstan]

Peace to your wife John.
I hope the water brings some easing of your sorrow and your boat a way back to finding happiness. Of course you also have friends to help when you need it
Capstan

 

[Wayfarer]

Boy, I thought I was having a bad day, today. Then I read this thread. Thank you for helping me realize that I'm taking a lot for granted.

Get out there enjoy cruising enough for two people! Time, exhaust fumes, and frothy wakes heal all wounds. Best of luck!

 

[johnma]

So very sorry for your loss. The boat can be a great help to you in your time of grief. Hopefully you're in a great marina with strong friends to help you through this. I was a caregiver to my mother who died of dementia several years ago. My problem was then all the extra hours I had that needed to be filled otherwise depression would set in. which it did. if the pain becomes too much please be sure to seek help
John

 

[alormaria]

Very sorry for your loss, John.

 

[cappy208]

Sortie: Wishing your Wife a fair tide and following seas on her journey to Valhalla. And wishing you an easy transition as well. As cliché as it sounds, Your good memories will eventually outweigh the bad. The good thing about your prairie is: she has plenty of room for all your memories. Peace. John

 

[Seadog2013]

My condolences, John. May you find comfort and peace on your boat.

 

[Dougcole]

My mother has parkinsons, she was diagnosed about 15 years ago and has steadily declined. My father in law was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

I've watched my dad fight many battles (including sometimes his own frustrations and suppressed desires) to be my mother's care giver. I have deep sympathy for you and will pray for you tonight.

You are a brave and good man. God has a special place and a plan for you.

 

[BandB]

My wife has been fighting Alzheimer's for almost 7 years. The last three have been brutal. Our Prairie 29 has not left her slip in over a year. The last 6 months have seemed like a living hell. She has riddled with pain from the Parkinson's affliction resulting in pain medicine that further dulls the senses. Last Monday 8/10/15 five days before 50th wedding anniversary she passed peacefully into a far better place.

Sub consciously I have been praying for the pain and suffering to end, thinking I was ready to deal with. No way. The reality knocked me off my feet and left a lump of tears and denial hovering like a glop of slurp. Now I am in a state of semi recovery trying to determine the next steps. Soon, I am heading to spend some quality time on the Sue Marie, named for my wife. Its time to bring her back to life and see if I can move on. It is going to strange and a huge challenge without love, but I am going to give it all I have, because she wanted me to. I am a very lucky man, we never fell out of love, we never disliked our In-Laws, resulting in fifty(almost) wonderful years.

I will let you know how this single handed stuff works, once I get the hang of it myself.

Thanks for letting me rant a little.

John

I can't imagine the pain as I've never experienced the loss of someone I loved. We've made promises to each other of what we'll do if one of us dies. Living up to those promises will be the hardest thing either of us could ever have to do. Going forward, especially with time on "Sue Marie" is the best way you could possibly honor her memory and her wishes.

 

[Off Duty]

Ascension
And if I go, while you're still here... know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure behind a thin veil you cannot see through. You will not see me, so you must have faith. I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other. Until then live your life to the fullest. And when you need me. Just whisper my name in your heart, I will be there.

That was beautiful.

John,

I don't know you, but when I read the opening post, the care, compassion and sheer love that flowed out of your words, brought tears to my eyes.

Your deep, unfailing love keeps your wife's spirit alive, and yes, the 2 of you made the 50 years my brother.

While there's no way I can relate to losing a spouse, having lost two mothers and a father, I understand the void left by her passing.

I'm on the other side of the state from you in Tampa, but I say this from the bottom of my heart. If there's anything I/we can do for you, please do not hesitate to let me know. Even if it's just someone to listen. I have no problems hitting the road, and in about 2.5 hours, I'm there.

For now, may Gods love, and the wonderful memories you and your soul mate shared, continue to bless and warm you. As others have said, get out and honor her memory as I'm sure from what you've said, she would have wanted you to.

Continued prayers from our family to you.

Sincerely,

OD
Gordon

 

[SCOTTEDAVIS]

Take her in your heart on your journeys and with your eyes show her the beauty around you and when your days are done she will take you by the hand and do the same.

All is well with her, she wants you to be well now, peace.

 

[Peter B]

John...I think it has all been said, really. I can also say that your story, and all those posts in response, brought tears to my eyes, and confirmed beyond doubt, this forum is a very good place to connect.

 

[FlyWright]

My sincerest condolences, John. I can only imagine what you've been through and the healing process you're now experiencing. This following passage gives me consolation in times like these...

Have you ever watched a ship go over the horizon? You see it slip out of sight, but in truth that ship is still sailing even though you can’t see it.

When a ship leaves a harbor, it will soon be entering another. Here, we say goodbye; there, someone is saying hello!


I pray that you will feel your wife's love when you're onboard your Prairie and learn to smile again when the soft breeze kisses your cheek.

Prayers to you and your wife in your journeys. No doubt she'll save you a great seat next to her!

 

[Sortie]

Thank you one and all for the thoughts and prayers. They mean a lot, and they are greatly appreciated.


John

 

[healhustler]

John:
Have you managed to get out on Sue Marie yet?

 

[siestakey]

John

We hope to get down to Merritt Island in November hope to see you and Sue Marie but if not you will be in our prayers and mean that sincerely

Alan

 

[Sortie]

Larry Not yet, this week.Alan. We are at harbortown Marina.

 

[janice142]

Caring for one with Alzheimer's is one of the most difficult things ever. May God bless you John for the compassion you showed your Sue Marie.

And too, to have that much of your life with a partner who loved you back is admirable. That you shared a dream and bought a Prairie29 (one of my favorites) is a good thing.

Time doesn't heal all that quickly but it does mute the pain of losses. For now revel in as many good memories as possible.

And when you're ready, go boating. Do not under any circumstances make major changes in your life right now though John. You need time to transition and re-ballast your life.

You have your memories and that's a good thing. After all, that is where we live forever: in the remembrances of those that knew us.

Your Sue Marie made an impact on your life to the extent that you Chose to care for her as she began her descent. And you stuck with it to the very end.

(I've been there with Mother so have an inkling of all you went through. It's not easy and you did it.)

Hold on tight John. Life does get better and the dark days will grant you a level of compassion for others that you can share -- when you're ready. In the meantime, thank you for reminding all of us of the good that exists in this world.

May God bless you and please know you're in my prayers.

 

[Manly Q.]

Hi John.

I suspect that most mature aged members on the forum have lost a loved one as well. My eldest son at age 34 committed suicide and left me very suddenly with no notice at all.

As humans do we learn to remember the good and the bad fades so that we can be there for those still around us who love and need us.

John there is nothing that someone can say to you which will make the pain and hurt go away but as time passes we cherish the good times we shared with those departed. I am not a believer so I can offer you no prayer of any meaning to you but if you feel the need when the gloom seems to be overtaking you then you are welcome to P.M. me if you feel chatting to stranger would ease your burden until you find your way.

The forum has an abundence of members in F.L. and I am sure if you make yourself available in time you will find many people only too happy to share your love of the water and boating with you.

Kind Regards.

David.

Manly Q.

 

[THD]

John-I wish I could add to what has been so eloquently said in all the prior posts, but I cannot. The best I can offer is a heartfelt wish for fair winds and following seas as you move forward.

 

[Moby Nick]

When my first wife passed away I renamed our 28'Yawl after her, the ROSEMARY. Our kids especially liked that. The following summer my 3 children and 2 grandchildren even did a week-long cruise in the North Channel; quite a party in a 28'Yawl.


Later I started dating. One woman in particular expressed a unease in a boat named after my late wife. We parted company.


Eventually I met a woman who was less exotic than a couple of the others; someone good for the long haul. After we saw the film Message In A Bottle together, we renamed the Yawl, the TRUE NORTH, in recognition both of her and my first wife.


We've been married 15 years now, having switched to an Albin-25, the DuNORD 3 years ago.