Bobby,
Let me be the first. Welcome to the forum and thank you for your first post, which to me is reasonable and well thought out!
I do understand some of the forum members not wanting to "waste time" with what they view are unnecessary questions from people looking at their boat for sale for the first time. But be aware as well, that all "real" buyers do look at the boat for their first time to "start the process", but I admit, that is not the appropriate time for a bunch of maintenance related questions.
However, like you, I find the what I view based on "tone", "stubborn" refusal to provide information, or making that process extremely difficult for interested buyers to be bordering on unbelievable, especially things like I would not sell to you??? Not all potential buyers have "bags of money", and may be stretching themselves to just buy the boat. It is also just prudent for the buyer to try to be able to estimate costs to repair, change, bring up to maintenance standards, etc. to include in their overall "boat budgeting". Again, maybe not "unlimited funds". All of which are consideration in the buying process, at least for some without "big bucks".
For example, I put in deposits and offers on 4 boats over a period of time, finally ending in the successful purchase of my current boat. The first one, we spent several hours with the seller, (her broker could not attend that day), who was very friendly, nice, not pushy, and let us look. When asked she answered any questions we had. However, there was
not a maintenance log, but her memory was good and the boat was about 6 years old (original owner). We really liked the boat, but the deal fell through as we really stretched our budget with our agreed price and the Canadian dollar fell like a rock (price was in US dollars) just before sea trial so we decided to walk rather end up hating the boat due to finances. Our cost in Canadian dollars had gone up $40,000 and the dollar still looked like it was dropping with closing still several weeks away. She completely understood.
The second boat was a US boat as well. The selling broker was lazy, did not answer any questions (except the odd one vaguely), and it turned out had lots of incorrect information in the listing. His listing talked about the "unusual engine" that the boat's original owner had selected (much smaller HP than usual) and the reasons for doing so. I asked for him to find out some info for me (the model and serial number) and the boat was moored about 200 feet from his office and in the same marina where he lives. NO. We offered anyway. So, when going to the sea trial, I got the numbers off the engine and with a 5 minute phone call to the manufacturer, I had all of the info I needed. Turns out the HP was actually even lower than the broker had listed (69 HP for a 40 foot trawler). There were
no maintenance records for this boat either, and due to how difficult it was to get any relevant information and what we feared was an undersized engine, we decided to not survey the boat. It was disappointing to have to WASTE OUR TIME AS THE BUYER going all the way to Seattle from Vancouver Island spending well over $200 dollars for ferries and gas as well as the better part of a full day, when the broker could have spent 10-15 minutes of his time and/or the seller could have insured that the correct info was in the listing.
The third boat we offered on we completed the sea trial and survey. There were
no maintenance records for this boat either. There were a few visual items that caused me concern when we first viewed the boat, but most were most likely easily dealt with with my time and additional money. We ended up walking away from this boat when our surveyor discovered that the hull was separated from the stringer in one location. The selling broker, who insisted that we not use our own broker, told us that this "wasn't important", was not a big deal. During further discussions it became apparent that the seller had the stance of "take it or leave it", so we did (leave it). We caught that broker on more than one outright lie. During this process, the broker we had been using all along as a buyer's broker, kept advising us even though he was not part of this deal. What a great guy, and he doesn't know it, but had this gone through, we would have given some money as a thank you.
Our fourth offer turned out to be successful and is the boat we now own. It too did
not have maintenance records. The boat was in overall great condition for it's age. However, having more information may have saved me some money getting the boat up to a good standard point maintenance wise, as I possibly replaced or rebuilt items that may not have actually needed it. The seller in this case was not the original owner so did not have some knowledge of what had been done, but he did try to answer any questions we had. This purchase was an enjoyable experience.
So, from my perspective 4 boats out of 4 that we were serious about did not have maintenance records.
I agree with Bobby above, as a buyer spending hundreds of thousands of dollars and investing hours of my time (with additional money spent to travel, etc.), I am entitled to ask a few questions about the product being offered for sale and the condition and upkeep of the product. I don't feel it is reasonable for the seller to take the position that it is "all up to the buyer" to determine the condition of the boat, and that the seller does not have to help in that process. If the seller had a maintenance log (or records of some kind) or provided a sheet with likely anticipated questions already answered, then he would avoid being "bothered" by what he might otherwise view as "pesky" buyers.
Just saying, by doing it once, the seller would not likely face many questions for those who don't like questions!
Free advice, and at some point, all boat owners will be sellers.
Oh, and Ralsy, good luck on your purchase. May it all go smoothly and to your satisfaction. Hopefully you will have a good owner (seller) to deal with.